secret life exposed
Some people have been spying on me and I want to foil their attempts to know more about me than I do.
This is from the college years. We ran a marathon, and yes, a banana beat me. In my defense, I was fruited along the way. Di is standing on her tippy tippy toes, she is actually shorter than me.
Also when I was little I broke a glass turkey because I was doing the can-can on top of the piano bench. Mom wasn't very happy about that at all. Now you know EVERYTHING about me. Oh yeah, I don't like Jello.
posted by jo portnoy @ 10:22 PM
11 Comments:
You don't like Jello? How interesting. Learn something new everyday.
I do realize it must have been very hard to finish a marathon, and I'm very, very proud of you, but why are you smiling in all your pictures? You look like you were at a mariachi festival. Did the bands help you along, or is it just a lot easier than it looks?
Yeah you are smiling in every picture. You cheated, huh? That's why you are smiling because you kept cheating. Don't lie. We all know. Smiling cheater.
I wonder if women who wear their underwear too tightly smile, just as men tend to talk higher.
Next time you smile at me Jo, I'm going to cinch up my trousers and sing falsetto.
Do you sing higher the more teeth I show?
heart forever, smiling-cheater
PS jello is gross.
Does this loss of love over jello have anything to do with your sister's history of burning it and still claiming to be a good cook?
Or do you just not like Bill Cosby?
PS I don't care if you are a cheater, I would still sing really high if you smiled and did the can-can.
Ode to Jello
By Vance Lassey
If I could eat Jell-O all day long,
I’d be a happy guy.
Living on Jell-O can't be wrong,
And without it I would cry.
I’d like to eat Jell-O throughout the day,Over studying and training my neck.
I’d like to get Jell-O as my pay,
Instead of a boring paycheck.
Jell-O has many forms-I love them all Especially when topped with cool-whip.
It can be made right at home or bought at the mall,And there’s a recipe for jalepeno Jell-O chip dip.
I could eat Jell-O throughout the night, I think Jell-O was in Mom’s womb.
A world with no Jell-O- there’s a fright.
That would bring imminent doom.
They say Vitamins are what you need, If you don’t want to die.
Since Jell-O has few, I’m in trouble indeed, And I wanted to say good-bye.
As I lay here, on my death bed,
I am a happy dude.
"Why?" you ask-"are you screwed in the head?"
Nope, Jell-O is Hospital food.
Wait, now I have to do the can can? And I have to read an ode to jello which is totally gross, anyone cool will tell you so. Good thing I got my midget by my side.
jello is flubby,
it bounces in your tummy
I wouldn't put it in my mouth
unless I really wanted to ralph
or is it ralf?
When I took German in 9th grade, we all had mandatory nicknames, and I was called Ralf for an entire year.
my name is Ralf...No wait it's not. Sorry I got confused
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